March was a hard month. There are various things to report, as the month is coming to a close. I have one hour to document everything I want to say about March.
There were hardships, laughs, kisses, smiles, bills, surprises and heartaches, so much, that I didn't have a chance to write about everything. I have mixed feelings about April. Jonathan's birthday is coming up in April, and we have so much to look forward to and so much to reflect back on at the end of this month of March.
March was full of days that looked like cold and dreary winter and days that looked like sunny spring. It was the perfect combination. That's what my emotions felt like... tender and beautiful like snowflakes falling down to the warm pavement, and then warm and soothing like a gentle breeze off the lake. So quiet and harmonious all at once. It is so powerful to know and understand the grace of God. A God that loves and wants love for us. To have in your possession something so crazy and wonderful, and sad and lonely all at once. That's what March felt like.
As I sit here in my room and reflect on everything that has transpired... and wonder at the madness that is my own mind and my own reflections, is it any wonder that I am in desperate need of savior? I am humbly learning what it means to have clean hands and pure heart, and what it means to draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.
I wish desperately that I could change the course of time and turn back the hands on the clock and make myself see and know and understand all that there was for me to know before it would happen. How desperately I wish I could know the future. Never have I given the future as much thought as I have in these past few months. What does my future really look like??
And I wonder... If I will be alone. And I wonder... will he be alone? How long will the Lord keep us together? Or apart?
There were hardships, laughs, kisses, smiles, bills, surprises and heartaches, so much, that I didn't have a chance to write about everything. I have mixed feelings about April. Jonathan's birthday is coming up in April, and we have so much to look forward to and so much to reflect back on at the end of this month of March.
March was full of days that looked like cold and dreary winter and days that looked like sunny spring. It was the perfect combination. That's what my emotions felt like... tender and beautiful like snowflakes falling down to the warm pavement, and then warm and soothing like a gentle breeze off the lake. So quiet and harmonious all at once. It is so powerful to know and understand the grace of God. A God that loves and wants love for us. To have in your possession something so crazy and wonderful, and sad and lonely all at once. That's what March felt like.
As I sit here in my room and reflect on everything that has transpired... and wonder at the madness that is my own mind and my own reflections, is it any wonder that I am in desperate need of savior? I am humbly learning what it means to have clean hands and pure heart, and what it means to draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.
I wish desperately that I could change the course of time and turn back the hands on the clock and make myself see and know and understand all that there was for me to know before it would happen. How desperately I wish I could know the future. Never have I given the future as much thought as I have in these past few months. What does my future really look like??
And I wonder... If I will be alone. And I wonder... will he be alone? How long will the Lord keep us together? Or apart?
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